Captain Fawcett's 8 winter essentials
‘I thought I told you be be prepared,’ I said to Carruthers as he stepped onto the bitter icy wastes of a Yukon Territory airstrip carrying only a picnic basket and sporting his customary straw boater. The mad fool! Clearly his training in the Boy Scouts had been tragically squandered in the ensuing years.
For those with the correct kit, this season of frost and, perchance, snow, is most bracing and jolly good for the soul! Whether one is manning the Mount Vostock weather station, tramping across the ruddy West Norfolk fens or, indeed, dashing into the briny for a wild cold water swim (what lunacy!)....these winter essentials will restore spirits and warmth in no time!
1. Fawcett’s Physician Lip Balm £8.00
For Chaps’ lips. This rich healing balm provides instant relief, moisturising and softening lips ravaged by winter winds or the dreaded mask rub! Vegan-friendly and infused with pure Rosemary, Peppermint and Lemon essential oils. Don’t stop under the mistletoe with anything else...
2. Fawcett’s Physician Mentholated Moustache Wax £11.00
Remember the good old fashioned head cold? It’s still around you know chums! My Physician recommends combing a goodly dose of Mentholated Moustache Wax into one’s upper lip weasel and breathing in its remarkable decongestant vapours. Man Flu? What’s that?
(A percentage of all sales benefits The Lions Barbers Collective and their work in raising awareness of male suicide and mental health. Not to be sneezed at.)
3. Moustache Guard Mug £28.00
Keep one’s pampered top lip topiary nice and dry by sipping one’s tea, or preferred beverage, through the opening of this mighty gentleman’s size moustache guard cup. Designed in the UK and handcrafted in Stoke On Trent a splendid British-made homage to potter Harvey Adams who invented this marvellous device in the 1860s. Tea-mendous!
4. Fawcett’s Physician Handy Sanitiser Gel
Now part of every modern gentleman’s practical hygiene kit, this is a delightfully cooling, quick drying, strong and effective gel. Available as a 250ml spray for one’s home, barbershop, car or place of work, this hand sanitiser is also comes in a neat 100ml bottle to pop in one’s pocket. 10% from each and every 100ml will be donated to the Lions Barber Collective to support their vital work in male mental health. Carry on gentlemen.
5. The Captain’s Neck Tube £12.00
Made from soft, comfortable, easily washable modern polyester and decorated with the Captain’s monogram and moustache motif, this emerald green multipurpose neck gaiter may be worn in all manner of ways to suit explorers, walkers, cyclists, pirates, spies, dandies, bikers and unassuming chaps who just happen to have a chilly neck. Keep warm and carry on!
6. Captain Fawcett’s Bay Rum Hair Tonic £16.00
From bobbles and beanies to balaclavas and berets, the season of hat heads is upon us, playing merry havoc with the natural oils of one’s scalp, what? Refresh the follicles and restore the sheen of health to tired hair with a tonsorial tonic, infused with woody aromatics evoking the warm spiced air of the West Indies. Keep it under your hat.
7. ‘Keeping A Stiff Upper Lip Regardless’ T-shirt £25.00
The Captain’s aphorism, nay byword for his very being, has never been more universally apt than in the most peculiar year of 2020. Keep the Captain’s words close to your chest by layering up with a fine cotton 100% organic vintage washed charcoal T-shirt. Other styles also available...
8. Triumphant Moustache Wax £12.00
As the poet said ‘When Winter comes, can Spring be far behind?’ Rufus Hound’s fragrant Moustache Wax wafts under one’s very nose the delightful promise of balmy days and better times to come. Hang in there chums, we shall emerge Triumphant!
Remember chums...avoid skating on thin ice and never lick a frozen flagpole. Stay warm, keep your powder dry and rest assured, I for one, will always be ‘Keeping A Stiff Upper Lip Regardless’.