I recently had the exquisite honour of taking tea and cheesecake galore with that delightfully delectable minx, vintage model and self confessed food lover Miss Emmerald Barwise.  As she tipped the saucepot over her outstanding pasties, it struck me that you too would be seduced by her undoubted charms and so, for your pleasure, we conducted an intimate interview by way of an introduction. 

Captain Fawcett is thrilled to announce a simply magnificent achievement for this year’s Barbersride. On the 11th August a fine fellowship of mad-cap adventurers, united by their passion for bikes and barbering, set off on an epic 5 day mission to support Make-A-Wish. The third BarbersRide was an absolute triumph, with funds reaching over £16,000. 

Celebrating BarbersRide 2019, Captain Fawcett is delighted to present a tonsorial treasure trove of barbering tools in one Special Edition Package, providing the modern barber with classic designs, honed and enhanced over centuries in accordance with the Captain’s own insistence on superb craftsmanship. Essentials for the modern barber’s craft with a special introductory offer!

I am simply delighted to present Captain Fawcett’s Coffee of Choice... a most delicious discovery sourced from the hills of the East Congo. Imagine, a misty morning in the verdant hills above Lake Edward upon the border of Congo and Uganda, in the western branch of the East African Rift. For it is here, a few miles south of the Equator, that a splendidly thrilling tale thus unfolds...

I am simply delighted to announce that Captain Fawcett’s 'Triumphant' collaboration with actor, comedian & all round good egg Rufus Hound has resulted in a rather splendid Signature Series Eau De Parfum. This delightful fragrance is reminiscent of the balmy days of Spring. Olfactory rural stimuli reaped by Rufus whilst riding his beloved motorcycle through England’s green & pleasant countryside. 

“Win an Epic Grooming Kit" with Douglas Laing & Captain Fawcett Ltd. The prize is a an Epic Grooming Kit set containing 1 x Bottle of The Epicurean (70cl), 1 x The Quintessential Grooming Guide for the Modern Gentleman book – handsigned by the Captain, 1 x Big Peat Moustache Wax and 1 x Folding Pocket Comb. There are two sets available. 

In its first two years BarbersRide has already raised over £21,000 for charity.  I now present BarbersRide 2019... So in August like-minded motorcycle enthusiasts will assemble once again for an epic journey in support of Make-A-Wish UK, the charity granting life-changing wishes for children with critical illnesses. Who will ride with us? Will you go the distance?

Gadzooks!  My Right Hand Man is on the box!  He has somehow found himself centre stage of a new vintage-themed BBC1 show called Curiosity. Considering he says he only popped out for a packet of wine gums, this is indeed a curious turn up for the books. The Right Hand Man’s starring episode airs at 2.15 on Wednesday 3rd April. The show will be screened every day for the next 3 weeks.

Captain Fawcett was delighted to welcome guests from all over the known globe to his simply splendid candle lit soiree this last Saturday evening. It is reported that a superb time was had by all. The Marvellous BarberShop Museum is a personal homage to the tonsorial art.⁠ For thanks to the wonders of 21st century technology, this wonderous collection of Mantiques is now open to all....

It’s a rare thing to find me at a loss for words but after receiving such news, emotion compels me to be brief.  For at a rather splendid dinner hosted by Lord Mayor with Lynn News at the Kings Lynn Corn Exchange, Captain Fawcett Ltd was awarded the accolade Small Business of the Year. And to cap it all, your humble Captain was voted Businessman of the Year.  #LoveWestNorfolk

I say!  Did you know that Captain Fawcett’s Synthetic Fibre Shaving Brush not only whips up a superb lather, it is splendidly vegan-friendly?  ‘Now, hang on there a moment old chum,’ you may well exclaim, ‘but I expect only the very best from Captain Fawcett and therefore must admit I was under the distinct impression that the very best shaving brushes are crafted using the finest Badger hair.

Further to clearing one’s olfactory pipes in this season of snuffles and sniffles, did you know that 15% of every purchase of Captain Fawcett’s Physician Menthol Moustache Wax goes straight to The Lions Barber Collective? This international pride of top barbers work together to raise awareness for the prevention of suicide. Many have been affected by such loss themselves. 

By popular request and inspired by the success of the Whisky Moustache Wax, I am delighted to introduce you to my luxuriant ‘Gentleman’s Tipple Whisky Beard Oil’.  Warmly spiced and a little nutty, the scent of this opulent elixir is lavishly infused with the aroma notes of the Captain’s preferred wee dram, recalling nights by a glowing fire amid the golden glens and rushing rivers of the Highlands.

On a seemingly routine business trip to London my Right Hand Man received a somewhat cryptic communique from a seemingly innocuous cab driver called ‘Gary’ (an unlikely name and no doubt a pseudonym, Ed ) that he was to proceed without further delay to Hyde Park underground station where he was to collect an apparently abandoned attaché case from a bench. Do read on...

One evening the Captain, himself no stranger to the tattooist’s dart, was asked by a freshly inked chum what potions he might have brought back from his travels which would soothe the skin. Which lead to the developed of Captain Fawcett’s Tattoo After Care Salve for new tattoo care to calm, moisturise and preserve. Read on for a guide to tattoo aftercare by Arron Raw Esq.

In the distant days of yore, when Queen Victoria sat firmly on the throne and Great Britain truly ruled the waves, Sutherland Macdonald, lately returned from serving in the British Army, raised the shutters on his newly opened Tattoo parlour situated above a Turkish Bath House in London’s St James’s. Inked body art had long been celebrated in cultured circles from Japan to the Middle East. 

I am delighted to have collaborated with the esteemed Harnaam Kaur, The Bearded Dame, in concocting a delectable and rejuvenating Hair Elixir. Harnaam first came to my attention after viewing her on my televisual device, after which myself and Brock Elbank invited her to be part of #Project60. She has polycystic ovary syndrome, which is a hormonal disorder that, can cause hair growth. 

STOP PRESS: Beard Season's 'Million Dollar Beard Oil' has won "Best Grooming Product" at the Swedish Beauty And Cosmetics Awards 2017, alongside such luminaries as Tom Ford, Prada, Ren, Lancôme, David Beckham. In the words of Mr Niggles, "Such a huge achievement for such a fine product. It was a dream putting this beard oil together with the Captain's team. 

I should like to express my personal, heartfelt thanks to those of you who took the time & trouble to travel both far and wide (strangely reminiscent of my ex wife) to Norfolk to join the Captain in celebrating the grand opening of his esteemed Gentlemen's Emporium and Marvellous Barbershop Museum in the fair town of Kings Lynn... I understand that a simply splendid time was had by all.

My dear chum Ricki Hall had his magnificent beard shaved off on 23rd July 2016, in order to raise money and awareness for Mesothelioma. The Big Beard Shave Off was conducted by Frank Glorified at Thy Barber, The Bike Shed, Shoreditch, London. Please donate at http://www.rickisamhall.com - every penny counts. One can view the live broadcast via Facebook hosted by our Right Hand Man.