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29 March

Posted on March 28, 2012 by Captain P. Fawcett

Greetings from the Arctic hinterland, where I have been ensconced with the Sami. Today we will travel with thousands of reindeer as they migrate to the coast in search of fresh summer grazing. However be assured that with the use of my patent pomade I am maintaining a stiff albeit upper lip regardless!

Toodle Pip. Fawcett.

Sami

20 February

Posted on February 19, 2012 by Captain P. Fawcett

Having hurtled south from Switzerland we have made our way past Lake Como via Briancon and on to Nice. Albeit a little weary, I find a small glass of pastis and a liberal application of one's patent pomade steels one for the rigours ahead! Carry on that man. Fawcett.

Please click here for my Grand European Tour Photograph Album.

Fawcett's Grand European Tour

11 February

Posted on February 10, 2012 by Captain P. Fawcett

At midday and with a dire need to replace the pneumatic tyres on our charabanc we stop at roadside coaching inn. The restaurant is bedecked with stuffed and grotesquely mounted trophy kills. I am somewhat nonplussed to see staring down from the wall the dusty head of an old woman, her beady, glassy eyes follow our every move and I am more than a little perturbed by the hint of a wry grin hovering on her eternally frozen lips! On enquiry I learn that this unfortunate is non other than Frau Schnitzel, the proprietor's first wife. Good God! After a liberal application of my patent pomade we take our leave and press on into the German hinterland. Whatever next? Regards, Fawcett.

13 November

Posted on November 12, 2011 by Captain P. Fawcett

Taking a small mirror from my waistcoat pocket I apply a liberal lashing of my patent pomade to my hirsute upper lip and step tentatively toward the bar. Here goes... Fawcett.

Moustache

28 October

Posted on October 27, 2011 by Captain P. Fawcett

This afternoon we arrived at Fort Beaufort to find the garrison deserted. After a liberal application of my patent pomade we bite the bullet and ride on. Fawcett.

Horse Munching on Hay

12 September

Posted on September 11, 2011 by Captain P. Fawcett

Good God, I thought to myself, one has yet to resort to that malarkey. My Moustache Wax is lovingly handmade in Norfolk, Great Britain.

The blaggard in front of me was in truth a snake oil salesman, a chancer a charlatan no less. I decided to take my leave of this thoroughly disagreeable fellow but not before giving him a jar of my patent pomade and suggesting he attend to his drooping hirsute appendage forthwith. Huuuumph.

I wended my weary way back to my makeshift cabin, cleaned my teeth in an effort to get rid of the stubborn bad taste in my mouth and dived in to the bunk. The crisp cotton sheets coupled with soft downy pillows and the gently rocking of the sleeping car ensured that I fell into a deep sleep within minutes of being horizontal. My dreams that night haunted with a coterie of purple faced buffoons or were they indeed ruddy arsed baboons? Fawcett.

8 September

Posted on September 07, 2011 by Captain P. Fawcett

At long last the fellow relented "Allow me to introduce myself" he paused as if for effect "I am Colonel Istkebab Thenkarzi late of the Magyar Hussars, currently a purveyor of hair pomades and Maccaser oil to the Southern gentry." Strewth. Fawcett.

29 August

Posted on August 28, 2011 by Captain P. Fawcett

Miss Allie Astell’s (my erstwhile biographer and sometime expedition organiser) mysterious disappearance and the need to cope with the ensuing hullabaloo had delayed my departure to the grand ol' USA. Receiving the delightful news that my dear chum is now safe and sound and with these unseemly shenanigans hopefully at an end, I apply a liberal dollop of my patent pomade and with a spring in my step, set off once again in search of my fortune. It is with no little excitement that I board the sleeping car of the Chicago and Northwestern railroad bound for Deadwood, South Dakota. Yee Hah! Fawcett.

Olde American Train

4 August

Posted on August 03, 2011 by Captain P. Fawcett

Be reassured that liberal applications of my patent pomade have allowed me to maintain a stiff upper lip throughout this ghastly affair. Fawcett.

28 July

Posted on July 27, 2011 by Captain P. Fawcett

To that end I will carry with me 800 jars of my delectable Moustache Wax with a view to the cowboys' chemist stocking and purveying my finest pomade. I will also pack 20 of my superb Fawcett undergarments which can be used for trade with the potentially hostile native Indians. Fawcett.

13 July

Posted on July 12, 2011 by Captain P. Fawcett

Be advised that for the immediate and foreseeable future I will be obliged to remain incommunicado. However I have a delightful tale to regale you with first...

Yesterday morning and laden with parcels containing my patent pomade, much needed wax supplies bound for exotic foreign climes, I dropped into the General Post Office situated in the beautiful city of Bath Spa.

The pretty young lady behind the counter smiled and on stamping my packages asked if I could possibly be Captain Fawcett? I of course acknowledged that I was indeed one and the same, to which the delightful gal retorted that she followed my journal and that reading about my travels and exploits brought a smile to her day. How extraordinarily gratifying. C.F.

5 May

Posted on May 05, 2011 by Captain P. Fawcett

Excerpt from 6 April:

After a robust breakfast of salted cod and boiled eggs we meet Frodo and Lars Petter, our Sami guides. They will travel with us, equipping the endeavour with our dog teams and sleds. Six dogs per man although the somewhat tubby Blinky requires eight. Baldur, Loki, Odin, Tor, Wotan and Freya have my watch, lithe, strong, Siberian huskies that I will come to know and love and who will, without complaint literally pull me through thick and thin.

We are setting off days later than I would have hoped. There is no room for further delay. To misquote the Bard, ‘cry havoc and let slip the dogs of quest'. We are in hot pursuit of Fridtjof Nansen, the famed Norwegian explorer who intends to scupper our resolve to be the first to locate and navigate a way through the South East passage.

Applying a liberal dollop of my patent pomade as a means to maintaining a stiff upper lip regardless. I holler ‘forward', at last we're off, into the unknown.

God Speed and may the best man win. What.

C.F.

27 April

Posted on April 27, 2011 by Captain P. Fawcett

Dear Friends

I should like to take this opportunity to thank you all for your messages of goodwill, commiseration and get well soon that I have received from the far flung corners of the globe. In response to your polite enquiries after my health and well being I can assure you that I am presently recuperating and albeit still physically weak, am in fine mental fettle. I am of course with the use of my trademarked pomade maintaining a stiff upper lip regardless. What ho. Although on this occasion our expedition was beaten by time and the ferocious elements that stacked against us, rest assured that I fully intend to return next year to the frozen far north and complete our unfinished quest! Whilst residing at the sanatorium I will publish excerpts from my Journal, which may shed some light on what went so horribly wrong.

Regards, Captain Fawcett
Windy Nook, The Promenade, Bognor Regis

19 April

Posted on April 19, 2011 by Captain P. Fawcett

In the interim I am quite sure that we would all like to convey our greetings to dear Captain Fawcett. Let’s wish him well and hopefully encourage a speedy recovery from this awful debilitating disease.

To that end, may I suggest nay request that we congratulate him on the continued writing of his journal in the face of extreme hardship and adversity. You can do this by clicking "like" on the right hand side of this page.

With luck he may well feel disposed to tell us more tales of wonder, derring do and recount the events that led up to his profound polar predicament in the far frozen North of Norway.

Be reassured that with the aid of his patent pomade the Captain is maintaining a stiff upper lip regardless!

Miss Allie Astell, Expedition Organiser, Camberwell.

21 March

Posted on March 21, 2011 by Captain P. Fawcett

Blinky abruptly stopped in his tracks, his tirade over, he sunk his head and stared forlornly into his empty teacup. I suggested a liberal application of my patent pomade as an aid to stiffen his upper lip. He declined my offer. I then extended my hand and attempted to reassure him that all was well and with that the man upped and bolted! Rabbit exiting stage right, pursued by all and sundry! A rum do. How very queer I mused. C.F.

6 March

Posted on March 06, 2011 by Captain P. Fawcett

By Jove the situation is getting hairier by the minute! C.F.

2 March

Posted on March 02, 2011 by Captain P. Fawcett

Further to my most recent excursion in the Highlands of Scotland, it is with no little delight that I receive notice from George Goldsmith Esq. the reknowned Scottish Estate and Land Agent that he will place in his respected annual catalogue an advertisement for my World famous pomade. How gratifying and very modern! What? C.F.

6 February

Posted on February 13, 2011 by Captain P. Fawcett

Rather tickled today, as I have just received a telegram that requests, a hundred jars of my finest pomade to be shipped poste haste to Uncle Sam in the good ole USA.

Good Lord! I may get Levitt to decant the last bottle of Latour, as a way of celebration! What? LEVITT! C.F.

25 December

Posted on February 13, 2011 by Captain P. Fawcett

Doled out a ration of my patent Pomade to the men in a bid to maintain the required stiff upper lip!

Obliged to take Pirie to one side and to tell him in no uncertain terms that we cannot let the blessed Yanks see a grown British man blubbing. Its not cricket! I suggested he man up and asked him to desist immediately from this lamentable display of spinelessness!

We have all shared in an absolutely fantastic Christmas dinner, consisting of some flat circular steak type concoction that the indigenous natives refer to as a bahgur! All washed down with lashings of a strange tasting ale called buddy light. This delightful repast has helped raise our collective spirit! I dispel quickly the whimsy of home and the distant memory of pulling a cracker. C.F.

15 December

Posted on February 13, 2011 by Captain P. Fawcett

I must admit to being somewhat intrigued by the stories told of this modern day Robin Hood! In the event I should run in to this disreputable rogue I keep about my person an extra jar of my Gentleman’s stiffener. It's a peace offering, a gift that will hopefully convince him of the benefits entailed in the use of my pomade and an added enticement to end his erring ways. C.F.

 
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